We are always talking about how we are all about dealing with violence, "reducing violence," "leading violence to harmony," "Meditations on Violence," and that sort of hippie language. But it seems to never occur to us that Violence is not even a thing.
Violence is not a noun (I don't care what the dictionary people say). It is an adverb that has been nounified - almost personified. Violence is a kind of relationship.
We are about relationships. In the dojo we simulate and role play different kinds of relationships so that we can learn from them and grow. Violence is involved in many of the dojo relationships.
Often we are very poor at role-playing or nounifying or personifying the violence in a way that we can work with and grow from. We call this "poor ukemi."
A lot of times we gripe about partners who are too rough or mean or abusive - who won't play the role like we want so that we can examine it comfortably, but this is just another type of violent relationship - and probably the very one that we need to work on.
You have to stay at least somewhat safe - after all, we all have other stuff to do besides play-acting violent scenarios stuff like marriages and work and kids.
I just find it funny that we say we want to learn about violence and then we gripe about the partners who play that role most naturally.
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